You've been carrying this precious cargo for 9 months and of course your family and friends are excited to meet this little one! Some might be almost as excited as you! So when you're trying to plan out the postpartum period and when to have visitors it makes sense that this decision might make you feel guilty or anxious.
DON'T LET IT!
I know, I know, easier said than done. But hear me out! Your life has just changed in a very big and beautiful way and its important that you protect that space!
Make sure you set clear boundaries that are important to you before the baby comes
Trust me, even if you don't think you want to think about boundaries right now because you don't want to be " that person" to family members and friends, people will understand. You aren't sure what your life is going to look like once that little one is home. You don't know how they will sleep or how you will be feeling during the first few weeks while you recover. Letting family and friends know that you will let them know when you are ready for visitors is a very fair thing to say because there are still unknowns after the birth.
Resist the urge to entertain
This is hard for a lot of women in general because we are used to hosting. Someone comes to our house and we want to make sure they feel welcome, we want to make sure that our house is clean. If this is you, use this opportunity to delegate tasks! Ask your mom to help with the dishes while she is visiting. Ask your friend to help pick up some of the things laying around that you would of normally picked up before they got there. NO ONE is going to judge you for the state of your house after you've had a baby or even question you if you ask for help! So use this to your advantage!!
Remember you can say NO
This might just be for me because I was a huge people pleaser before I had my kids lol. Knowing that if something is bothering you or making you uncomfortable you can just say no or speak your mind! Don't bite your tongue when Grandma decides to wake the sleeping baby you just put to sleep. ( Personal experience) Yes everyone wants to see the baby and hold them, but if the timing isn't appropriate for you, don't feel bad by saying no. This also applies for when people are asking if they can come see the baby! Most days you might feel totally up for that, whereas other days you might just want to say no. If thats the case, DO IT.
You can also say YES
Whether it’s the friend offering to drop off a dinner dish, or a coffee and cake, or your mother in law offering to wash the dishes and mop the floor, saying yes to these things may feel a little uncomfortable but will make things so much easier for you.
Remember the whole idea of ‘it takes a village to raise a child’? Well, we don’t have those villages anymore, but we do have people who offer help.
Have a dedicated " Gate keeper"
This is a great role for hubby/ your partner to take or even a firey friend or family member.
They will be responsible for moving people on when they’ve overstayed their welcome (yes Aunt Maude, this means you) and can even be a great person to have around if you’re in hospital and have people wanting to come and visit.
Set visiting hours
Last step I wanted to just point out is that setting visiting hours can be very beneficial when thinking about visitors! That way, if it is discussed ahead of time, your guest will likely be paying attention to the time and not overstaying their welcome! This also helps you to not worry shout unexpected visitors!!
This picture was taken when my midwives left after our home Birth! I’m grateful I thought to take it! its moments like these that you want to make sure you’re allowing yourself to have when setting boundaries with visitors! Make sure you’re making time for yourself and your family to adjust to the new addition! The time goes by so fast!
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