The Birth Of My Four Children, And What I Learned

( PART 2 OF 4 )

No Two Births Are The Same.

After River's birth I remember being frustrated that I had skipped the chapters on caesarians thinking it would never happen to me! The way I coped with how her birth went was by becoming more educated on birth and it was when I was pregnant with our second, our first son Lincoln, that I decided to get certified as a birth doula.

Ready For Another Birth Experience.

In 2014 I finished my certification and was a birth doula. I attended births while I was expecting Lincoln and in August 2014 he was born. His birth was a completely different birth experience than my first! It was through his pregnancy and his birth that I realized I had some triggers from River's birth that I never worked through. I always thought a traumatizing birth experience meant the birth ended in a devastating situation resulting in someone dying. I felt selfish for thinking at River's birth as traumatic because I was lucky we were both safe and healthy.

When I was expecting Lincoln there was only one OB in our city that would allow me to try for a VBAC ( Vaginal Birth after a Caesarian ) if I was over 40 weeks pregnant. I wanted to give my body more time to get into things on their own. When I was 41 weeks I had to accept the offer for induction if I didn't want a repeat Caesarian. So at 41 weeks and 4 days I was induced. IN THE SAME WAY I WAS THE FIRST TIME! Talk about deja vu! They started with breaking my water because once again I was 4 cm dilated. They started the drip right away because they wanted to make my body do contractions and make them strong to have a successful trial of labour. I laboured, using more of the techniques I knew. I brought my laptop to watch a feel good show to distract me from the feelings and fears I was experiencing from my previous experience at the hospital.

When I was checked 4 hours after being induced and was told I was at 7 cm, I decided to get the epidural right away. It wasn't because I couldn't tolerate the contractions anymore but I felt NUMB. Hearing that number didn't feel great so I decided to let my body rest and get the epidural so that IF i needed a Caesarian again it could be done before my body was exhausted after being in labour for 17 hours.

I got the epidural and by the time my next check came, to my amazement I was at 10 cm! I was so surprised and so relieved. The OB allowed the midwife I had with me to have care transferred back to her. She told me that she wanted me to rest and to let her know when my body was giving me the feeling to push. That feeling never came. She coached me during some pushing and while doing that and with being on the continuous monitor we were seeing that Lincoln's heart rate wasn't doing great when I was pushing.

The OB was called back into the room and I was asked to show him some pushes. After doing that it was made clear that we needed to get Lincoln out quickly. He gave me an episiotomy without telling me first. I remember my midwife holding my hand and I squeezed it hard when that happened because I felt the whole thing. She looked at me with sympathetic eyes and told me " You're ok." The OB continued to use forceps and Lincoln was born. His colouring pinked up quickly as he screamed. My midwife was an amazing advocate and I remember hearing her say " He looks great, Sounds great, Get him up on his moms chest!"

Although it wasn't how I imagined it, I was SO happy to have my skin to skin with my son and to have had a successful VBAC. Recovery with him was significantly more difficult with having SO many stitches from an episiotomy, 3rd degree tear and haemorrhoids.

I sat on a donut for a week and Tuck pads were my life lol! During the postpartum period I remember thinking that I was so happy that even though my downstairs was a swollen mess, I was able to hug my toddler and lay down easier than I could when I had River and was recovering from a Caesarian birth.

What I learned from Lincolns birth, was that it is very important to process and debrief previous birth experiences or fears you have before going into your birth!